Working ON the System

Today, I have been going through past notes and materials from workshops and books over the years. It brings back memories of so many good people that I have learned from along the way. It is impossible to put into words the gratitude for the wisdom and guidance others have shared with me.

One of the items I found was an article written by David Langford entitled "Working on the System." One of his main contentions in the article is that "administrators must spend an increasing percentage of time working on the system, not in the system." This statement, in one sentence, is essentially the reason I desired to become an administrator. I saw an opportunity to work on the bigger processes that drive much of the work teachers do, and in turn much of what students experience on a daily basis.

I am reminded often to think systems. I am also reminded that the results we are getting are exactly what our systems are designed to produce. More importantly, I am reminded that these systems I talk about are made up of people. 

There are some simple facts about us. About people.

We have feelings. We have dreams. We have beliefs. We have perceptions. We have needs.

So, I want to take a minute to be clear that I wholeheartedly believe that we absolutely must address the systems within which we work. That is a critical point!

And...

I would like to be equally as clear that I do not intend to insult individuals within the system by pointing out concerns or outcomes of the system. To do so would miss the purpose of raising the concerns in the first place because it might fix blame on outliers rather than improve the process as a whole. Generally speaking, my blog is not about outliers. I feel like that would be a waste of most people's time, including mine.

I do intentionally use provocative language at times to stress the magnitude of some of the issues I write about. I will continue to do so. There has to be a sense of urgency and seriousness about our business of improving how we teach and raise and disciple the next generation, lest we fall prey to what Martin Luther King, Jr. called the "tranquilizing drug of gradualism." Some improvements require more than minor tweaks here and there to the system. I make no apologies for beating that drum.

I do, however, apologize for anything that I have said or written that gives the impression that I do not respect and admire teachers. Most teachers I know work very hard and care very much. I trust that those educators I have had the privilege to work with most directly know my heart. They know that there is, simultaneously, joy and dissatisfaction in my work at all times. 

Joy, because it is a sacred honor to be called to this kind of work. 
Dissatisfaction, because we can always do better. (Dissatisfaction, by the way, is the prerequisite to any great change that takes place, so there is no need to be scared of it.)

Our school district aims to think students first. A mentoring principal once told the audience at a leadership academy, "I tell my faculty that if there ever comes a time when there is a conflict between doing what is best for teachers and doing what is best for kids, then I will do what is best for kids."

What is best for kids is for all of us in education to continuously reflect on our practices and challenge ourselves to grow. I am the perfect example of why this is necessary. I still have a long way to go, but I am thankful that I am not the educator I was five or ten years ago. There have been countless changes to my practices over the years because of the encouragement and wisdom and honesty of those people that surround me, both those who agree and those who disagree with me. 

Thanks for helping me grow!

Somebody's "Emerson" (aka. Why I am Becoming a Modern-day Abolitionist")

Recently, my family and friends surprised me with a birthday celebration. Boy, they got me good! I never saw it coming!

In addition to the event itself, another surprise was the collection of donations toward a personal interest I had of trying to raise enough money for a slave rescue operation with International Justice Mission (IJM). Due to their generosity, I needed to find a way to organize these efforts so I could track funds and progress toward the $5000 goal. So, I went to the IJM website and started a FreedomMaker campaign called Somebody's "Emerson". (You can check it out here.)

My daughter was naturally curious about the name, "Somebody's 'Emerson'." So, I explained to her the reason I am becoming a modern-day abolitionist. Here is what I told her.

"Every night I get the honor of tucking you in at night and praying with you. Many times, we read together and talk about our day and laugh. I look around your room and I see stuffed animals that you can hold in a comfortable bed, a nightlight, a dresser full of clothes, and shelves covered with books.

Emerson with her daddy

"You are my Emerson. You have a lot of nice things and are protected in a home with a family that loves you. Your mommy and daddy get to kiss and hug you and tuck you in safely each night.

"But did you know there are children like you all over the world, and there are some of them that don't get to be in safe homes at night? Some of them don't get to sleep in comfortable beds. They don't have even one stuffed animal to hold on to. They are hurt by people stronger than them. They are told lies. And the worst part is that they don't have a mommy or daddy they can go to for help. Some of these precious kids don't have someone to hold them and love them and do what is best for them.

"If you, my Emerson, were ever in a situation like that, I sure do wish someone would do something to help you. And if that is what I would want someone else to do for my Emerson, then it is right and good for us to do something to help someone else's "Emerson".

Every hurting, exploited or trafficked child is "Somebody's Emerson"!

One Step at a Time

I have to confess that I am totally overwhelmed by the magnitude of the problem of human trafficking in our world. There are enough statistics and stories to make my head spin. On top of that, the organizations and efforts to fight against it are too numerous to keep up with, as well. How in the world can I know which is most effective? Most efficient? Operating with the most integrity?

In the early stages of learning about the human tragedy of modern day slavery, I have encountered new vocabulary and acronyms, data I don't even know how to process, and places I didn't even know existed. 

It is easy to feel like there is just too much out there. It is easy to throw my hands up and believe I cannot make a difference. I mean, really, this vile practice of enslaving humans is more prevalent now than at any time in our recent history, possibly ever. 

Who am I to change that?

To call this discouraging is the understatement of the century. It is unfathomable that we find ourselves facing this mess.

So I am left confronted with the reality that I don't know the best way to overcome it, which leads to a question. If I don't know the best way to fix a problem, do I ignore the problem? 

Justin Dillon
Founder of "Made in a Free World"

Fortunately, I attended the Free Austin Summit last October and heard Justin Dillon speak. Dillon reminded me (and everyone there) to not get misled into allowing "perfect" to be the enemy of good. Just because I cannot do something perfectly does not prohibit me from doing good, no matter how small.

Thank God! Because I need manageable, realistic steps that I can take. 

A step like writing a blog post. 

A step like attending an Allies meeting.

A step like using an App. (and then telling others about it)

A step like reading an article online. 

A step like exposing my children to this topic.

A step like making a donation.

A step like sharing a hotline number.

A step like buying a Fair Trade product.

And I am writing this because I am betting that there is someone who will read this that is just like me. Someone who does better taking baby steps in the right direction then trying to run as fast as you can in every direction. And I feel like this is a cause in which direction is more important than pace.

Don't get me wrong. If there is any issue that demands a sense of urgency, it is this one! 

Still, I don't want to get so caught up with trying to move so fast that I don't move at all.

So, for now, I will work on little steps. More importantly, I will share those little steps with others because I can't help but think that many of us taking little steps in the same direction is much more powerful than one person trying to take a leap by himself.

It is with this perspective that I invite you to read (even subscribe!) and share these blog posts that are associated with this topic. They usually come out on my blog on the weekends. (Mondays and Wednesdays tend to focus on reform in education and reform in the church, respectively.)

In these weekend posts, I will share some of the simple steps I am learning about.

Maybe we can walk together.

(Be ready for a simple step next week.)

Human Trafficking 101 Resource

Another resource full of information related to modern day slavery and human trafficking (aka. Trafficking in Persons) comes from our own government. There are numerous resources to help you learn about these issues here.

Check out the Human Trafficking Awareness Training. I have gone through this presentation. It is informative, yet basic. Should be required education for all adults.

Learn how you can help.

I'm proud to be an American...where at least I know I'm FREE!

When is it Better to Be in the Minority?

It is strange, but I often wrestle with how much of my writing is for myself or for others. I would like to think that I write and teach and blog to help inform, educate, and guide others. However, there are many lessons I teach and posts I write that I can't help but admit are more about "self-therapy." Today's post is one such case. It is a reminder of how important it is to remember that God's kingdom operates by different values than our world. Seeking popularity and approval and comfort could take me on a course away from God's will rather than toward it.

Specifically, the myth I want to confront is the thinking that if something is right, then there will be consensus among the masses indicating so. Spiritually, I find it necessary to proceed with caution like a tightrope walker. On the one side, rebellious, individualistic renegades find their demise when they separate from God's ordained faith community and stand alone in pride. On the other side, though, is the much more common and subtle trap often cloaked in this positive twist: "If this is God's will, then surely the Spirit will bring agreement among the people (congregation, staff, family, etc.)." There are times to be on either side, and times to be on neither.

What prompts all this cogitation is Frank Viola's account of a part of Old Testament history that I had not considered before reading From Eternity to Here (2009). Let's go back in time to the 6th century B.C. era. Israel is taken into captivity by the Babylonians. Two million Israelites are displaced to Babylon for 70 years.

The critical piece to remember is that God's purpose and plan for Israel was to worship in one temple in Jerusalem back in the Promised Land of his people. Seventy years pass and the captivity is brought to an end. The people of Israel are allowed to return to Jerusalem where God intended for them to be. And about 50,000 of them do just that.

Look at the bold numbers again.

2,000,000 leave.
50,000 go back.

Admitting that there may be a slight change in overall numbers over seven decades, we still see that only 2-3% of the Israelites return to their homeland! A small remnant! Overwhelmingly, most decide to stay in a foreign land where they had grown comfortable, and in some cases, even prosperous. Despite confusion and mixed religious practices that profaned the worship of God, the price to pull themselves away was more than they would pay.

Sometimes doing the right thing is not backed by the majority. It is often rationalized away. And the lesson 2500 years later hasn't changed, following through with what is right in the midst of a comfortable society usually comes at a cost.

Viola's warning echoes in my head like sounds in a haunted house: "You can never satisfy the dream of God while living in Babylon" (p. 183-184).

Lord, where am I living now?

My White Chair Story

I just finished the 22-Day Challenge from I Am Second. It is definitely worth checking out! I really like the simplicity of the videos and the principles behind the ministry, especially the small group component. The basic format for the videos involves individuals sitting in a white chair telling their story, illustrating how Jesus is first and they are second. (I guess one could make an argument that it should be called "I Am Last," but you get the point.)

The Challenge's last question was, "What is your white chair story?"

Well, here's mine.

I remember pulling in to the empty Post Office parking lot with my dad on that weekend afternoon. He told me that he needed to tell me something. Then, he shared that he would be leaving our family. He said, "I love you, but I can't stay." I did not know how to express or label it until later in life, but it was at that moment that I stopped trusting people.

From my parents' divorce at age 10 to subsequent family ruptures, I went through my teens with a greater sense of loss than gain. Living with bitterness was all that I was really good at. The one exception was the refuge I found on the basketball court.

At the end of my teenage years, I had sabotaged the only relationship I deeply cared about, failed out of college, and had no job. Anger had evolved into rage and continued to grow. I was mad. Selfish. Immature. Irresponsible.

One day, during a summer men's league basketball game, it came to a head. Within the first minute of the game, in an odd circumstance, an opposing player stepped on my shoelace and it came untied but knotted at the same time. I frustratingly knelt down, attempting to undo the knot while cussing under my breath. After a few moments, the referee asked me to sit on the side and fix my shoe while someone took my place. Everyone wanted to get on with the game.

Everything ugly about bitterness rose up in that instant from deep inside me. I unleashed a torrent of profanity on that official. When  even my teammates suggested I calm down, I turned my wrath on them. I yelled at the referee, the players, and everybody who could hear me. The official issued me technical fouls, kicked me out of the game, the gym, and the building.  While storming out, I hit the door and continued spewing out garbage.

Seconds later, I was behind the building and all alone. It was the most depressing and hopeless time in my life. I was out of control. No plan. No future. I could act tough in front of others, but not in front of myself. I already knew how weak I really was.

I sat down against the wall, buried my head in my hands, and I cried. And I kept crying.

One week later, I found myself with a group of guys, including my ex-girlfriend's father, on a trip to Denton, Texas for a Promise Keepers conference. I reluctantly agreed to join them, thinking it might be a way to get back in the good graces of my ex-girlfriend. Frankly, I could not care less about Jesus and the faith they all shared. The whole point of the conference was to worship and honor him. It sounded like a boring waste of time, but I had nothing better to do.

We arrived a little late. As we entered, I will never forget the moment I reached the top of the ramp leading to the stands and being able to look out across the stadium for the first time. I saw and heard tens of thousands of men singing in unison, praising God together. It was one of the most beautiful and powerful scenes I had ever taken in. All colors, all ages, all backgrounds. Sufficed to say, they had my attention.

When the first speaker came to the stage, he asked the crowd, "How far do you think you can throw a football?" People from all over the stands shouted. The presenter played on their egos. "40 yards?" "50...60...70 yards?" Cheering and boasting filled the air. The numbers climbed. He said we could give it a try, turned and retrieved an item from the back of the stage. He stepped back to the front of the stage and exclaimed, "Okay, here you go!"

He held up a football.

...A football that was flat as a pancake. No air inside!

I immediately became unsettled. I felt like my insides were shaking.

Now it wasn't the men that had my attention. It was God. The only other words I remember hearing the speaker say were, "You can never be what you were designed to be if you have nothing or the wrong thing inside you." My emptiness became suddenly apparent.

In that same instant, God was real. God was true. God was big! And for the first time ever in my eyes, God was love.

I surrendered my life to Christ that day. It's a silly expression, really. Surrendering is an act that should only be reserved for an enemy. Before then, though, that is what I thought God was. Since then, not even the word friend is good enough for Him.

It was June 12, 1994.

Over the years since that start of a new life, God has been the perfect Father. I haven't always liked what I've had to face, but His faithfulness is amazing! His peace is indescribable. His grace is enough. Knowing Him, by itself, would be a remarkable story of victory.

But God has done more. The ex-girlfriend is now my wife of 13 years. She is my soulmate. We have two fabulous and precious daughters. I earned three college degrees, volunteered and worked as a pastor and teacher. Currently, I am an educator. I am blessed by living close to most of my family and having positive relationships with them, and I have reconciled with my father and we now talk often.

Jesus teaches me all the time. He is full of truth, hope, and love. He never leaves me.

My name is Marc Scott, and I am second.

What is your "white chair" story?

Who Do You Think You Are to Speak Up?!

Returning to Warren Bennis' book, On Becoming a Leader, here is another comment that I believe is paramount. "No one is more valuable to the organization than the subordinate willing to speak truth to power." 

I have to contend that fear is the only thing that makes this declaration hard to accept because on paper it is obvious. If you map out any organization or system, of course the people closest to the issues can speak to the reality of daily operations and their effects more accurately than anyone else. In fact, this is often explicitly stated in systems thinking in this way: The person closest to the problem probably has the best answer to solve it.

This thought raises many questions for me, such as how we define subordinate (and why we even use the word in the first place) or what it means to truly wield power. When considering how much greater we can make the world of the next generation in the future, we cannot help but consider how much greater we can make the current institutions in which they are participating. Within these organizations, there must be people who are willing to speak truth regardless of their position!

It takes no courage to complain to those around us without authority to change things. In fact, it may even soothe our egos to know they agree with us. On the other hand, the courageous act is to speak up even when you know it will be uncomfortable. I admit that there have been times I have stood up and respectfully done just that, and there are also times I have shrunk back.

What I am finding is that a steady resolve for doing what is best for kids helps me to speak up more than shrink back. Of course, as with anything, when there are other "subordinates" who are encouragers and allies willing to speak up together, that is the best case scenario.

Thought for today: What truth do I need to speak to the powers around me? If I am in a position of power, then am I listening honestly to the truth being said to me no matter where it is coming from?

Nothing to Prove

Over the next few posts, I want to share brief reflections on what I consider profound points from a book I recently read, entitled On Becoming a Leader (2009) by Warren Bennis. This work, which a friend of mine told me is basically the standard "go to" guide on leadership, has actually been around for decades. After being updated only a few years ago, it is a terrific resource.

Here is the statement from the introduction of the book that captures my interest today: "Leaders have no interest in proving themselves, but an abiding interest in expressing themselves."

I wish I could cling to this attitude everyday. It is almost always when I get focused on proving myself to others or even myself that I get derailed. To simply express what I am convicted about, sure of, and committed to while being at peace with where the chips may fall seems so much better. It seems right...on all kinds of levels. It seems inspired; more spiritual; more beyond ourselves, if you will.

Who am I trying to prove myself to anyway? Why?

And you? Does this idea resonate with you at all?

Reality from My Perspective

"Just keep describing reality from your perspective without laying blame and you will be fine."

These words caught my attention as I recently listened to a presentation by Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations (2002) and Fierce Leadership (2009), while she listed various pieces of advice.

It stood out to me because I believe it is true, but moreover, I want to believe it is true. It's one of those ideals that makes one think, If this could work, then just maybe the world ain't so bad. Maybe it is possible to enact change without leaving a trail of victims and scapegoats along the way.

I have to admit that the "your perspective" part gives me pause. Then, I wonder, Is it ever really possible to describe reality from anyone else's perspective other than your own?

Also, is it appropriate, or even honest, to end any piece of advice with "you'll be fine"? From my experience and observation, this sentiment just doesn't ring true. The fact is that consistently describing a reality that is uncomfortable for someone to deal with, whether that be an individual, committee, or organization can be a tough process. It can leave you alienated, disillusioned, unpopular.

Perhaps, if the reality from "your perspective" is indeed reality, period, then maybe the mere awareness of that is the same as being "fine" within your heart. Maybe the integrity of staying true to convictions regardless of how uneasy they make anyone feel (even you) is what it means to "be fine" in the end. You might not be fine with everyone, but which of us ever is?

So, let me take a stab at this. Reality from my perspective says that this admonition is misleading. My reality is that many people actually want to lay blame rather than just face facts and deal with issues objectively. And, of course, I wonder whose fault that is. ;)

Having said all that, though, I think this is an area in which the vision of the ideal must trump all else. It's kind of like Mother Teresa's "Anyway" poem. In the end, the truth may very well be that defining reality from your perspective without laying blame does not mean you'll be fine. It might mean hurts along the way. It might mean distractions. It might mean more work. It might mean misunderstandings, and it is never fun to be misunderstood, especially in your motives.

Still, my experience also tells me that despite all these legitimate concerns, this charge to define reality without laying blame is indeed the best action to take, particularly if you are in any kind of work with shaping culture that impacts the next generation (what this blog is intended to be all about).

There is no better option for those of us in public schools or ministries to families and young people or church reform settings than to define the reality that exists no matter what it is, and in turn, do so without laying blame. Admittedly, this is no small task. This is difficult!

Be the broken record, if necessary, but consistently, relentlessly, passionately help others to see the reality for what it is while pressing on to create a new, better reality.

To Mom

In honor of Mother's Day...

"To Mom"

I know what it means to show respect to others because of you.

I have a stronger faith in God because of you.

I recognize devotion and sacrifice when I see it because of you.

I know that a parent's love never ends because of you.

I am a better husband and dad because of you.

I realize that some people are not more important than others, but that everyone matters because of you.

I know falling down is okay but staying down isn't because of you.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Challenge #2 - Short-term & Long-term Goals

Here is the 2nd challenge from the April Platform Challenge from "My Name Is Not Bob."

By the way, I should have clarified that this is a challenge all about building a personal platform. It includes great exercises related to defining who you are, what you intend to accomplish, and how you will express yourself to the world. It is really a great exercise for anybody.

So, while I list some of my short-term and long-term goals here, maybe you can think of what would go on your list.

Short-Term Goals (personal & professional) - by end of June 2012 (unless otherwise noted)

 

· Record a series of reflections about implementing a new formative, student-guided, assessment system in my classes (which can serve as a "pilot" of a system to replace traditional grading).

· Write a guide for facilitating a student-run peer tutoring program at middle schools.

· Share my learning with faculty & staff from the “Beyond These Walls” experience.

· Lead a team of stakeholders (teachers, students, parents, administrators, etc.) through a process of shaping culture on a campus based on a few basic expectations.

 

· Apply and interview for an Asst. Principal position.

 

·Start a community service effort with my niece and other teenagers.

·Maintain blog with at least two entries a week.

·Volunteer at the Special Olympics.

·Lose 12 pounds.
·Submit at least 3 article queries (by end of summer).

·Start three new simple churches (by the end of summer).

·Read at least 15 more books (by end of this year).

 

Long-Term Goals 

· Rest in God's love and never again try earning it by being religious!

· Be out of all debt!

· Get published!

 

·Participate in radical reform of institutional Christianity and public education!

·Travel with my wife! (Give her the vacation of her dreams.)

·Watch both of my girls become whole, healthy women!

 

April Writing Challenge

Whether I will see it through or not is up in the air, but I am participating in Robert Lee Brewer's Writing Challenge in April. I am new to this whole writing thing, but I have already found the tips on his "My Name Is Not Bob" blog very helpful. He has a way of expressing himself in a very transparent, mentoring manner. Anybody thinking about writing anything would benefit from checking out his stuff.

I'm obviously already off to a late start, but better late than never. So, we will see how well some of these activities mix in with my normal blogging.

April 1st's challenge was to "define yourself."

Easy enough, right? Ha!

I am a free and forgiven follower of Jesus (that, ironically, sometimes has difficluty embracing my freedom and forgiveness) that hopelessly and passionately loves his wife and expects to bring about a much greater place for the next generation to live.

Of course, there is much more about me in the "About Me" section of this blog. Go figure!

Have a fantastic day!

March Madness - (aka Yeah Baby!)

There are several reasons why I like the month of March, but the NCAA Basketball Tournament is definitely near the top of my list. The "big dance" or "road to the Final Four" is the single greatest sports competition ever designed!

A field of 68 teams battling in a "one-and-done" tournament...

quickly reduced to 32,

then sweet 16,

elite 8,

until the top two teams arrive at the championship game.

The one left standing is crowned the victors and we begin the countdown until we do it all over again next year.

Woo hoo!

Beyond These Walls - My School & Community Engagement Project

Beyond These Walls - Back to School PPT

View more PowerPoint from MarcJScott

I had a vision at the start of this school year of engaging as many co-workers as I could in a community engagement project. I called it "Beyond These Walls." The presentation included above is a PowerPoint (minus the song and transition effects) that I showed to the faculty to kick it off.

The crazy thing, as I reflect now, is how "prophetic" it turned out to be. I thought we were busy before, but this year has cranked everything to a whole new level! It is more challenging than ever to stay focused on what matters most.

There are demands and pressures coming at teachers and administrators from all sides. Unfortunately, some of them have very little to do with keeping the main thing the main thing - a focus on student learning, which is, appropriately, our district's central aim.

My hope with this project was to simply reinforce that students are whole beings. They live multi-dimensional lives. Learning is affected by numerous factors, and responding to this reality only makes us better educators.

The project consisted of three phases that anyone could opt in or out of at anytime. The first task that faculty and staff members were asked to consider was riding a school bus. (Yes, with kids on it!) The second task was to be a "student for a day," following one student's schedule throughout the school day and doing all they were asked to do - take notes, read silently, get to class on time, etc. The third task, which many of us have yet to complete, is to interview a family about their dreams and goals for their child as well as their perceptions of our school system.

While I am still compiling the feedback from the adult participants so that I can share it with the faculty, I want to reflect on an interesting twist I added once the project was underway.

About mid-way through the school year, I told my students about the project and asked them two questions:

(1) What do you think teachers learned from riding your buses and going to your classes and trying to see your world from a new perspective?

(2) Is it important for teachers to do things like this? In other words, is it worth it for the adults in school to spend time trying to better understand students' lives or should we focus on other tasks instead?

Many of the responses to the first question centered on one theme: "how hard it is to be a kid." They discussed issues like the challenge of changing classes, the way behavior changes when adults are around, crowded hallways, etc.

Now, none of this is really all that surprising or dramatic. We all have experienced these dynamics. There is no "news" here. However, what I found most intriguing about all their comments is how honest and open they were about the fact that everyone changes how they act when other adults are around.

In fact, what caused them to cry foul the most was the thought of educators getting any kind of an accurate picture of what really goes on through an experiment like this one. They objected that each teacher, bus driver, or other adult in authority over them would change attitudes and actions when another adult was present to observe. And, as far as their own attitudes and actions, they didn't even try to hide the fact that they change when adults are around. They treated it as a given.

Right now, I am just sharing. I am not reflecting or evaluating this feedback. I am not saying that it is good or bad. I am not even saying that it is fair or accurate. There are deeper social and developmental factors that color these circumstances. It is interesting, though, just how pervasive the cynicism is that they have toward us.

So, why throw it out there? Because regardless of how we feel about their perceptions, they exist. Most of our work with people is living with the situation that another person's perception creates a reality for you and I to deal with, just as ours does the same for them.

Ignoring it is an option, for sure, just not a wise one.

By the way, their answer to question #2 was an emphatic yes.

The Ideal Approach to Discipline

As a follow up to my book review of The Connected Child, here is the one part of the book I found most instructive. The authors presented a discipline approach that they called "IDEAL."

I - Immediate   The response must be quick. They recommend within 3 seconds of the misbehavior.

D - Direct   Be near. Make eye contact. Avoid distractions.

E - Efficient   Use the least amount of firmness and words necessary to make the point clear.

A - Action-based   Lead the child to a "do over," redirecting him or her to an appropriate behavior.

L - Level the response at the behavior, not the person.

These are good reminders for me to consider in my interactions with all children. The process seems like a simple, effective test/checklist that can be used in a variety of scenarios.

Book Review: The Connected Child (2007)

I was first introduced to the wisdom of Karyn Purvis at an adoption conference in Austin, Texas over a year ago. After hearing her speak in person, I was eager to gain more insight from this particular PhD. My chance came with the purchase of The Connected Child, a book she co-authored with David Cross and Wendy Sunshine (two last names that almost sound made-up under the circumstances). The book is intended for parents welcoming children into their homes from "hard places." Not surprisingly, there are plenty of good lessons here to benefit people in all aspects of life. Personally, I appreciated it as a parent and educator, but I recognize how essential it must be for the targeted readers to have this knowledge.

One of the major take-aways from the book is actually an obvious, simple point. Abused and neglected children need full attention eye contact each and every day from a caregiver. This is one of those truths that is easy to agree with intellectually, but I have to humbly reflect on my own practice. (In fact, just this very moment my daughters entered the room playfully, loudly talking, playing music, and seeking my attention. My initial reaction was to say, "Turn that down, please." I immediately turned my concentration back to this blog entry, barely acknowledging them. After all, I had to get on with this post about giving children attention with your eyes!)

The funny thing is that it works. Eye contact really communicates something that maybe no other method can. It is hard to put into words. My youngest daughter, when being obstinate, will comply and be more accepting of redirection much more often when I say, "Look at the brown in my eyes" or "I need to see your eyes" instead of just "Look at me." (A tip from the book.) It hasn't been a 100% guarantee, but a big improvement.

What I have also noticed is just how much full attention eye contact really bothers some of my students. They are very uncomfortable with it. To be honest, I can't even say that I am all that comfortable with it sometimes. The deep, psychological reasons for that will probably never be revealed in this blog, not because I want to hide them, but I have to first figure them out myself.

Eye contact was only one great reminder in this book. Other practical strategies included keeping a behavior log or observation journal for a couple weeks, preparing children for changes (especially with special needs), using the "sandwich" approach of wrapping any negative inside two positives, and using "stock phrases" or "scripts."

Scripts or stock phrases are those one-line principle statements. They can be used over and over again to drive home foundational elements of how family relationships are going to work in the household. Some examples are:

• "Use your words." or "Give me a whole sentence."
• "Adults are in charge."
• "With permission and supervision."
• "No hurts."
• "Focus and complete your task." (after clarifying that they understand the task)

I think this book is a great resource for any parent, but I would imagine it is a must read for parents with foster, adoptive, special needs, or cross-cultural children.

I am saving the best take-away from the book for its own post.

Giving Up False Starts for Lent

I wish I could give up unrealistic expectations for Lent this year. Once again, I got ahead of myself with this blogging endeavor. I call it another "false start." I easily become overly ambitious and then get fed up with myself when I don't meet my own unrealistic expectations. Okay, so I am learning.

Realizing that I need adequate time to prepare while balancing too many other things, how about I just give up the practice of making promises that put me in a box and only produce more self-induced guilt? No guarantees of blogging three days a week, or even once a week. No schedules or themes to keep up with. We see how February went after I made a commitment like that! Ironically, the freedom to write and reflect whenever I can may be the fuel that helps me do it more often.

In track, the first false start is usually "charged" to the "field," so I am hoping to get away with that this time. Here we go again!

Even a Wrong Ron Paul is Right for America (part 4 - conclusion)

(The final point about Ron Paul...for now.)

·         He inspires because he knows how to agitate.

There comes a time when a person taking on the negative effects of monstrous institutionalism must "make waves" enough to rock the boat so everyone on its deck can feel the effect. There is simply no way around it. Paul, himself, is aware of this role. "The purpose of the agitator is to change people's opinion so that great and significant social change can be achieved" (page 263, LD). In the spirit of John Wycliffe¹, Anne Hutchinson², Jeremiah Moore³, and Martin Luther King, Jr.⁴, we find Ron Paul carrying a banner for individual liberties – our freedoms, our unalienable rights.

History recognizes truth about great agitators that many of their contemporaries missed at the time. In fact, the common and necessary prerequisite for bringing about revolution is being dismissed (or suffering a worse fate) by the established hierarchy of the day. I believe this will be so for Ron Paul, as well. Despite the ridicule and name-calling from the professional political insiders, the future will unveil a movement riding the momentum championed by this one Congressman. (This reality is already coming to light in the polling of 18-29 year-old voters.)

I am reminded of an observation made by William James, "A new idea is first condemned as ridiculous and then dismissed as trivial, until finally, it becomes what everybody knows." To me, it is a fascinating exercise to wonder if Ron Paul's Liberterian principles could progress in this way. Take the most villified positions that Paul has, and consider what a world would look like if they were to come to fruition.

Can you imagine an America with legalized marijuana?
Can you picture closed military bases scattered throughout the world with most of our soldiers at home?
Can you think of the Federal Reserve only existing in American history textbooks?

What about a world in which individuals are expected to actually take responsibility for their own actions as they live in freedom?

It is hard imagining these things in place when, right now, it is difficult to even see a day when the federal government actually means cut in the phrase "spending cut."

In the end, I find Ron Paul intriguing. He has caused me to think more than any other candidate. That may not be as much of an indictment against other candidates as it is a glimpse into where I am in my life now. I am at a point where I see that unanswered questions are often much less dangerous than unquestioned answers. Paul's book drove home this point with brief factual, verifiable accounts of how some of our governmental policies and programs came into being. When one is able to look at the historical record of how something was done, it becomes much easier to see how the world would go on just fine if it was undone.

Before reading Liberty Defined, I took certain parts of our U. S. "system" for granted and assumed "that's the way it has to be." Now, I realize that is just not so. The most incredible revelation for me is that it really isn't all that complicated. It does require educated, informed citizens, a relentless, consistent effort, and the will of the people to improve our current state. And one more thing, a truck load of common sense.

I still have much to learn. There are beliefs and positions of all the candidates left to explore. Politics is an ugly mess, and while I've painted a positive picture of Ron Paul in these posts, I admit that he is a politician. I wouldn't characterize him as an "insider," but his campaign participates in its share of negative ads and mudslinging. In my humble opinion, the more he stays above that kind of behavior, the better.

I wouldn't quite say that I have drunk the Ron Paul kool-aid yet, but I have definitely poured a cup and even snuck a sip or two. Honestly, it tastes better than I expected; surprisingly so. The simple and undeniable truth is that he is bringing up issues that need to be discussed. He is shining the light on things that remain hidden by those in power for too long. His absence from this primary process would create a vacuum that would not be beneficial for all of us.

Even if you, like my friend, label Ron Paul as wrong, for the place we find ourselves economically, socially, internationally, and historically, even a wrong Ron Paul is right for America!

^{1 Wycliffe was called “wretched” and “son of the old serpent” by Catholic church leadership for his efforts in translating the Bible into the common language of his people.}

^{2 Early 17th century Puritan who was put on trial and punished without ever getting a sufficient answer to her question, “What have I done wrong?”}

^{3 Moore was arrested and told to “lie in jail until you rot” for converting to become a Baptist only a few years before the American war for indiependence.}

^{4 Criticized by fellow clergy for actions that were labeled "unwise and untimely" while leading the change for social justice.}