Somebody's "Emerson" (aka. Why I am Becoming a Modern-day Abolitionist")

Recently, my family and friends surprised me with a birthday celebration. Boy, they got me good! I never saw it coming!

In addition to the event itself, another surprise was the collection of donations toward a personal interest I had of trying to raise enough money for a slave rescue operation with International Justice Mission (IJM). Due to their generosity, I needed to find a way to organize these efforts so I could track funds and progress toward the $5000 goal. So, I went to the IJM website and started a FreedomMaker campaign called Somebody's "Emerson". (You can check it out here.)

My daughter was naturally curious about the name, "Somebody's 'Emerson'." So, I explained to her the reason I am becoming a modern-day abolitionist. Here is what I told her.

"Every night I get the honor of tucking you in at night and praying with you. Many times, we read together and talk about our day and laugh. I look around your room and I see stuffed animals that you can hold in a comfortable bed, a nightlight, a dresser full of clothes, and shelves covered with books.

Emerson with her daddy

"You are my Emerson. You have a lot of nice things and are protected in a home with a family that loves you. Your mommy and daddy get to kiss and hug you and tuck you in safely each night.

"But did you know there are children like you all over the world, and there are some of them that don't get to be in safe homes at night? Some of them don't get to sleep in comfortable beds. They don't have even one stuffed animal to hold on to. They are hurt by people stronger than them. They are told lies. And the worst part is that they don't have a mommy or daddy they can go to for help. Some of these precious kids don't have someone to hold them and love them and do what is best for them.

"If you, my Emerson, were ever in a situation like that, I sure do wish someone would do something to help you. And if that is what I would want someone else to do for my Emerson, then it is right and good for us to do something to help someone else's "Emerson".

Every hurting, exploited or trafficked child is "Somebody's Emerson"!

Kids in the Kingdom

Since the point of this blog is to explore ways to impact the next generation by radically reforming the institutions of public education and the organized church, the main question that I hope to keep always before me is, What is best for kids?

To answer this question, we need to consider children as whole people that have spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and social dimensions. You can check out my "Faith Like a Child" series on this blog to see what the Bible says about the spiritual capacity of children.

Here are those posts:
Faith Like a Child (part 1)
Faith Like a Child (part 2)
Faith Like a Child (part 3)
Faith Like a Child (part 4)
Faith Like a Child (part 5)
Faith Like a Child (part 6)
Faith Like a Child (part 7)

It is important to us that disciples of all ages can fully participate in the mission. Therefore, it is critical that children understand the essentials of our practices without "watering down" their meaning and power.

A child does not receive a "junior-sized" Holy Spirit, but the Bible teaches that children have tremendous spiritual insight and often receive profound Kingdom truths more easily than adults. Simultaneously, a child's human development requires that the gospel is presented in its simplest form in terms of the language and imagery we use. Therefore, we process our core practices in "kid-friendly" terms because we want to pass on essential truths to the next generation form the earliest moments possible.

Here are the child-friendly, essential truths of our mission (what we call our "Cores for Kids"):

• Jesus teaches us that praying helps us get close to God!
• Jesus teaches us that we can worship God by doing good everywhere we go!
• Jesus teaches us that baptism is a way we can show we want to follow Him with our whole heart!
• Jesus teaches us to obey Him and be like Him by loving God and others!

The Health Care Debate and How Much Greater

One of the things I worry about every now and then is broaching topics that might be too "political" because I know how quickly that turns some people off. It also concerns me because I don't want to be known for what I am against, but what I am for.

Having said that, though, there are some current event topics that are so relevant and critical to the entire focus of this blog, which is seeing "HOW MUCH GREATER" we can make the world for the next generation. The economic situation and health care debate combine to form one such issue that warrants attention when it comes to the impact on children and youth.

So, regardless of which political party you favor, if any, it is good to become better and better informed about the implications of passing ObamaCare in this country. Today, I share this podcast from the Cato Institute as a source of information related to this topic. You will be able to tell there is an obvious bias in this podcast, but hopefully it opens the door to deeper reflection, research, and conversation.

How much greater America will or won't be in the decades to come will be affected by what happens with our health care, tax code, defecit problems, public education, and so much more, and therefore, these types of topics will be discussed on this blog.

Our Simple Church Story

The following is the update I submitted to the Nazarene Organic Church Network (associated with the Church of the Nazarene denomination) as our story for their consideration to publish:

Our small simple church in central Texas has been a blessing and demonstration of God's grace for the members of our group. We still have a long way to go and much to do, but a couple current examples of how we have been able to minister to others include conducting monthly services for the residents of a local nursing home at which one of our participants has an active visitation ministry and bringing together our contributions to support a monthly backpack food program for families at a local middle school. In the past couple years, we were also able to provide special birthday parties for children in foster care by partnering with a local YMCA and adoption agency. We also appreciate the work of the pastor and congregation at Hill Country Nazarene Church as they endeavor to serve the community in meaningful and practical ways.

The most significant growth has occurred through our realization that there is no separation between clergy and laity in our structure. We recognize that we are all ministers in our families and vocations, and individuals in our group have been set free from guilt about religious duty and released financial resources to bless people outside our group. We are constantly discussing and praying for one another's workplaces and homes, and including our children in the process. When someone in our group is going through a difficult time, we show care and lift them up in prayer. Our focus is more and more where it should be: fixed squarely on Jesus. The future is bright with hope for new ministries and opportunities. We are grateful to God for His faithfulness!

I did not have much space for the submission, so I couldn't get into future goals too much. However, here I would like to add that as we move ahead, I would like to see us become even more missional and focus more on disciple-making. Personally, I also hope to create a better way to orient people to the simple church approach and become more invested in the cause of stopping human trafficking, as well as see others in our group realize their dreams for impacting the world around them. Many of my personal ministry passions are related to my job as an educator and wanting to see God glorified in the public school setting as kids' lives are changed.

What Would the Bible be Rated?

(Most of this post is an old one that I never published.)


Today, I have been challenged to include a "call to action" at the end of my blog post. (Well, technically, I was given this challenge almost two weeks ago. I'm a little behind...)

I am really starting to be somewhat dismayed by my own cynical, sarcastic side. Sometimes, even I am thinking, Gosh Marc, that's a pretty ugly part of who you are!

At this point, I could ask for forgiveness and seek to cleanse that negative characteristic from my personality or I could pass on the ugliness to others and further perpetuate the problem.

Today, this blog post is my attempt to do the latter. Just think of it as my contribution to world restoration.

So, my recent thought was in response to a discussion a few people were having about what children are exposed to in the media. Specifically, they were complaining that parents had brought their children to see a particular movie. (Here comes my mischievous thought.)

I thought about interjecting, "It's okay. They can go home afterward and comfort them with peaceful and wholesome images while reading the Bible together. Maybe parts of Genesis, like when God floods the whole world and all people of all ages drown or the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. There are many tame parts to choose from that merely involve minor, unobjectionable events like rape, murder, kidnapping, or war. And plagues are always good.
There's a little something for the whole family." (See what I mean! Why am I being like this?)
Seriously, this question came up recently for me anyway because my 10-year old daughter has been reading through the Bible from the beginning. Now, she is leading our simple church group through a study and discussion of Genesis. We raise a lot of questions together.

But I can't help but wonder if I should be "covering her eyes" for the "scary parts" of this movie we call Scripture. Then, I doubt myself for even considering such an action. Who am I to deprive her of divine revelation? So, is the good parenting move to expose her to it all no holds barred or to shield her from all that evil deeds recorded for who knows what reason?

I wonder what today's MPAA rating system would rate the Bible if it were turned into a feature film in 2012.

So, back to the "call to action" challenge. My call to action for you is very simple. Give me your opinion. What do you think the Bible would be rated? If you want to go above and beyond, then link to some related information or justification for your answer. This is call to participate in what is, ultimately, a fruitless conversation, I know.

To Mom

In honor of Mother's Day...

"To Mom"

I know what it means to show respect to others because of you.

I have a stronger faith in God because of you.

I recognize devotion and sacrifice when I see it because of you.

I know that a parent's love never ends because of you.

I am a better husband and dad because of you.

I realize that some people are not more important than others, but that everyone matters because of you.

I know falling down is okay but staying down isn't because of you.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Expectations vs. Wishes (part 4)

(...continued from part 3)

Handling Disappointments

Have you ever heard a speaker say, "If you don't remember anything else I say, then at least remember this one thing."? Well, pretend you hear me saying that in your ear right now while you read this last part. I cannot stress the significance of this final component enough, and it is my opinion that not taking this point into account is what causes many educators to retreat back into the world of wishes instead of holding students to clear, consistent expectations.

Here is the truth. If you have expectations, then there will be times when they are not met. Young people need to learn that an unmet expectation leads to disappointment.

If expectations are consistent and don't go away, then I can confidently tell you another expectation (something I am sure of) I have of myself. There will be times I will fall short and fail to meet an expectation. And I am confident that I am not alone. We all mess up.

Consider this analogy of my doctor's appointment. If I miss a doctor's appointment, there is usually a financial consequence (missed appointment fee) and a time consequence (re-schedule). Depending on the logistics that have to be worked out, there may be additional effects (securing childcare, missing more work, etc.). It does mean that I will have to make arrangements and change my plans (remember our criterion of an expectation). There will be a cost, or inconvenience.

It does NOT have to mean that I just give up altogether. I do not quit going to the doctor or ignore health care needs forever. It is not the end of the world. It is a setback.

We can help students mature as whole people if we help them equate "dis-appointment" with "miss-appointment." When a student fails to meet an expectation, then he needs to learn to "re-schedule an appointment" to make up for the disappointment. The more a student does this, the more he is able to take more ownership of "making it right" and grow from the experiences.

That is why this whole discussion of expectations and campus culture is critical. If we are too wishy-washy and inconsistent with expectations, then students have little direction and tend to make excuses for their own behaviors. On the other hand, if we compile a list of unrealistic expectations with no supports in place to help students meet them and then attach an equally long list of "gotcha!" punishments to it, then students will tend to disengage and resent the learning environment. Either way, we do a disservice to our primary stakeholders and run the risk of stunting their intellectual, social, and/or emotional development.

When it comes to building a school culture, it is necessary to keep in mind that expectations are aimed at creating an environment of safety and excellence for the whole community, not demanding perfection from individuals. To be honest about expectations (as they are described in this article) means we must also be honest about disappointment, which is the logical result of failing to meet an expectation. It will happen. Fortunately, it provides us with one of the richest teaching moments in our careers working with children and youth.

 

 

(To read this blog post in its entirety, go to http://rbmsexpectations.blogspot.com/ )

Expectations vs. Wishes (part 3)

(...continued from part 2)


Explicitly Communicating Expectations

There is a simple axiom that I wish (yes, wish; I don't expect it) was written across the front doors of all schools (and stores, businesses, houses, etc. for that matter): People cannot be held responsible for information they do not have.We spend a great deal of time in education, appropriately so, talking about learning targets and objectives. We stress the importance of clearly defining our expected outcomes. In fact, we have almost developed an entire vocabulary in our field just for this topic. Despite what we call them, the purpose is for teachers and students to know when they have met a particular objective and what it takes to show that they have met it.

If we do this with academic behaviors, then should it be any different with other behaviors? If not, then our premise is that for students to recognize and correct misbehavior, they must first be able to identify the expected behavior. A person only knows he missed a target if he can locate the target in the first place. It might be worth taking another look at just how clear we are being versus how clear we think we are being.

Before listing specific suggestions to help ensure that expectations are clear and explicit, there is one more important point. Contrary to the superstition attached to wishes ("Don't tell anyone or it won't come true."), there is a guarantee that goes with expectations. Don't tell everyone and it won't come true! If you want to ensure that people won't follow expectations, assume they already know them.

So, how can we create a culture built on common expectations that guide our daily work? Here are some ideas to get the ball rolling. (If you have other ideas, then include them in your comments.)

• APPLICABLE TO ALL

A great way to ensure fairness and safety in a school is to create expectations that apply to ALL people, regardless of age, gender, background, etc. It is true that the actual behavior in response to an expectation might look different from one individual to another. For example, a teacher will meet the expectation of being prepared for class in a different manner than a student. Still, the expectation of being prepared would apply to both stakeholders.
Some would challenge this suggestion by saying that adults and teachers should be held to different standards. Is it responsible, though, to expect something of children that you wouldn't expect of adults?

• PASS THE "DEAD MAN'S" TEST

Rule of thumb: If breathing is not a prerequisite to following your rule or meeting your expectation for students, then change it. Too often, we define for students the exact behaviors we don't want to see from them. Don't talk. No horseplay. Don't get out of your seat. Don't be late to class. No running in the halls. (All things a dead man can do.) I catch myself doing this much more frequently than I'd like to admit. Instead of constantly making requests that don't require a pulse, I could clarify and model a positively stated expectation, and then, well, expect it.

Of course, we already do this in education. It is often just too late. I see positively stated expectations frequently on behavior contracts used as interventions with students for discipline reasons. There is nothing wrong with this practice. Indeed, it is helpful in many cases to offer students (and even adults) replacement behaviors. It is a quick way of telling kids, "Stop doing ___ and start doing ___ instead."

What about just having "placement" behaviors that are clearly defined up front for all students? Then, each person can know how to act in this "place" all the time. If behavior contracts have been shown to be constructive supports for student discipline, I can't help but wonder why a school with 1000 students wouldn't have 1000 behavior contracts.

• EASY TO IDENTIFY

This seems obvious, but can be tricky. Clarity with expectations usually is found in the action words. The most important words of our expectations might be the verbs and adverbs. The guiding question is, "What does that look like?" So, even with a broad expectation, such as Be Respectful, there need to be defined behaviors that demonstrate it.

In fact, a good check-for-understanding is to not only ask a student to tell you what an expectation is, but to also show you. If a young person can describe it in words yet has trouble getting his body to physically act it out, then we still have work to do in defining the expectation.

• NEVER GO AWAY

Another specific characteristic of true expectations is that they never go away. Sure, there are expectations that are particular to certain events or times, but in the context of developing a campus culture the emphasis should be on expectations that always guide daily routines. As educators, we might ask, "What is it that we expect from students and each other everyday, all day?" Consider these silly scenarios to make the point in the context of the following expectations.

Expectation = Be Productive: The high school principal is driving to work one day when he suddenly realizes, "Oh no! Today is Thursday! I forgot that my science department decided to not be productive on every other Thursday. I can't have that meeting with them after all."

Expectation = Be Prepared: The teachers didn't bother gathering for the called meeting because last time the assistant principal wasn't prepared. After that, a decision was made by central office that this particular AP didn't have to be prepared for any more meetings this grading period.

Expectation = Be Respectful: The faculty has decided that since Fridays after lunch are when students are most riled up and have difficulty following directions and settling down, they will have a ten-minute period after each lunch where students can go outside and yell at one another and push each other around to release some of their energy.

Admittedly, these are absurd accounts. But that is the point! If an expectation is good enough to have part of the time, then it is good enough to have all the time. Without consistent expectations, there would be chaos.

(to be continued...)

Expectations vs. Wishes (part 2)

(...continued from part 1)

"Close Your Eyes and Make a Wish"

A wish is what someone does when blowing out candles on a birthday cake, buying a lottery ticket, or bringing in the New Year. A wish is almost the opposite of an expectation because it precisely deals with wanting things to be different than they really are. Wishes do not lead to action because there is no serious belief that they will happen. To make the point, let's return to my analogy of going to work on Monday morning. I may wish I didn't have to go to work the entire weekend leading up to Monday, but come Monday morning I will find myself carrying out all the necessary plans to meet my expectations and arrive to work on time.

Expectations guide our plans because we are so sure they will happen. Wishes do not guide anything, but only offer distractions to the reality we face. Therefore, I submit that spending more professional time on wishes in our schools is a waste of time, at best, and more often worse, a hindrance to student learning.

Do Our Actions Betray Our Words?

Now, we may hone in on the implications of this discussion in our school settings. Consider these two examples. Reflect on whether you believe the teacher in each case is expressing a wish or an expectation.

• A teacher encourages her students while passing out the unit test in math class, "I have faith in all of you. Remember, you have learned all the material on this test. Have confidence. I know you will all do well. I expect everyone to pass with flying colors!" Behind the teacher, on the front board, is a note including the date, time, and policy for test re-takes.
• Students enter the classroom after greeting their teacher at the door. A starter, or warm-up activity, is projected on the screen. Most students quickly take their seats and begin working on the starter. When the bell rings, the teacher enters the room and closes the door behind her. She notices a couple boys standing near their desks with no supplies out, conversing about their favorite parts of a movie they saw over the weekend. She calmly says to them, "You know the routine for how we start class everyday. Now, instead of being able to take attendance right away, I am taking time to address you about what you should be doing." Then, she asks, "What is your assigned task right now?" One boy answers with an eyeroll, "Do the starter." The teacher responds, "Good. Then, please do so now. Thank you."

Let's approach it from a broader perspective. Read the following statements and decide if each item constitutes a wish or an expectation in your mind.

• Students should have clean, organized lockers.
• Students should be in class before the tardy bell rings.
• Students need to show respect to adults by addressing them with words like "sir" and "ma'am."
• Students are responsible for their own learning.
• If students don't turn their work in on time, then they should fail.

Well, how did you label them? Was it difficult to fit any of them in one category or the other? What were your thoughts as you analyzed these beliefs?

(to be continued...)

Expectations vs. Wishes (part 1)

School leaders everywhere claim to hold high expectations of their students. Obviously, it would be ridiculous to claim otherwise. So, we see and hear the mantra in campus mission statements, superintendents' initiatives, and school board campaigns. Of course, this is how it should be! The debate is not whether we should declare to have high expectations of all students. My concern, quite frankly, is that we simply don't mean it.

Defining Expectations

Our problem is not that we intentionally hold low expectations of our students, but we fail to define exactly what it is we expect. By default, we go around repeating slogans that resemble "wishes" more than true, realisitic expectations.

To create an evnironment that truly nurtures high expectations, one must clearly define what expectations are in the first place. Being explicit about what an expectation is and is not, I believe, is one of the most concrete tasks that school leaders can perform to lay the foundation for successful student learning. Furthermore, this work at the "front end" will also support professional development and adult learning.

Let's begin, then, with a definition of expectation. An expectation is something anticipated, something we can look forward to, an event that one not only hopes for, but also trusts will happen. In our minds, a true expectation is so certain to occur that we make plans accordingly. For instance, I expect the sun to set this evening and to rise again tomorrow. I am so sure of it that I plan my eating and sleeping patterns (sometimes not all that consistently) based upon this expectation.

The key criterion of an expectation is that it is worth arranging one's life (or work or play, or in our case, class or school) around. In other words, to expect is to fully believe to the point of acting. On Monday morning, for example, I expect to still have my job. As a result of this expectation, I plan to wake up early, dress a certain way, leave an adequate time for the commute (another aspect dependent on real expectations of traffic flow, street lights functioning, etc.) and so on in order to arrive at my job.

The practical point here is that there are very real consequences to our plans if expectations are not met. Continuing with my previous illustration, if an unexpected delay arises, such as road construction or a car accident that I could not have foreseen, then I will be late to work, or at the very least, I will have to find another route. In short, my original plan will be insufficient and must change. Therefore, the first test to tell if a true expectation exists is whether plans will have to change as a result of it not occuring.

This, in turn, becomes the litmus test to determine if I truly hold an expectation of my students. If I think I expect something of them, then I can ask myself, "What changes in my plans does it create if they do not meet it?"

 

(to be continued...)

To read this blog post in its entirety, go to http://rbmsexpectations.blogspot.com/

Challenge #2 - Short-term & Long-term Goals

Here is the 2nd challenge from the April Platform Challenge from "My Name Is Not Bob."

By the way, I should have clarified that this is a challenge all about building a personal platform. It includes great exercises related to defining who you are, what you intend to accomplish, and how you will express yourself to the world. It is really a great exercise for anybody.

So, while I list some of my short-term and long-term goals here, maybe you can think of what would go on your list.

Short-Term Goals (personal & professional) - by end of June 2012 (unless otherwise noted)

 

· Record a series of reflections about implementing a new formative, student-guided, assessment system in my classes (which can serve as a "pilot" of a system to replace traditional grading).

· Write a guide for facilitating a student-run peer tutoring program at middle schools.

· Share my learning with faculty & staff from the “Beyond These Walls” experience.

· Lead a team of stakeholders (teachers, students, parents, administrators, etc.) through a process of shaping culture on a campus based on a few basic expectations.

 

· Apply and interview for an Asst. Principal position.

 

·Start a community service effort with my niece and other teenagers.

·Maintain blog with at least two entries a week.

·Volunteer at the Special Olympics.

·Lose 12 pounds.
·Submit at least 3 article queries (by end of summer).

·Start three new simple churches (by the end of summer).

·Read at least 15 more books (by end of this year).

 

Long-Term Goals 

· Rest in God's love and never again try earning it by being religious!

· Be out of all debt!

· Get published!

 

·Participate in radical reform of institutional Christianity and public education!

·Travel with my wife! (Give her the vacation of her dreams.)

·Watch both of my girls become whole, healthy women!

 

Dedicating My Work

Here is one more idea from A Whole New Mind. I originally wanted to write about several things from the book, but I decided to limit myself to this suggestion.

Daniel Pink writes about Naomi Epel's idea, which in turn, came from Danny Glover. It is simple. Just like an author dedicates a book to someone, why can't we do that with anything we do? Glover talked about dedicating a performance. Pink says it could be anything we do. A sales call. A presentation.

So, let me try this out.

I dedicate this post to my wife, Nannette.

I am creating assessments for a new learning process that I am experimenting with in my classes. I dedicate the project to a former student that moved away. He believed that teachers didn't like him. I hope that my work can help create environments so that less students feel that way.

I am praying for an interview soon for a job that I have been excited about for a long time. When I get the chance, I dedicate that interview to the students of a new middle school opening in Leander ISD.

What is it you want to dedicate? And to whom?

The Ideal Approach to Discipline

As a follow up to my book review of The Connected Child, here is the one part of the book I found most instructive. The authors presented a discipline approach that they called "IDEAL."

I - Immediate   The response must be quick. They recommend within 3 seconds of the misbehavior.

D - Direct   Be near. Make eye contact. Avoid distractions.

E - Efficient   Use the least amount of firmness and words necessary to make the point clear.

A - Action-based   Lead the child to a "do over," redirecting him or her to an appropriate behavior.

L - Level the response at the behavior, not the person.

These are good reminders for me to consider in my interactions with all children. The process seems like a simple, effective test/checklist that can be used in a variety of scenarios.

Book Review: The Connected Child (2007)

I was first introduced to the wisdom of Karyn Purvis at an adoption conference in Austin, Texas over a year ago. After hearing her speak in person, I was eager to gain more insight from this particular PhD. My chance came with the purchase of The Connected Child, a book she co-authored with David Cross and Wendy Sunshine (two last names that almost sound made-up under the circumstances). The book is intended for parents welcoming children into their homes from "hard places." Not surprisingly, there are plenty of good lessons here to benefit people in all aspects of life. Personally, I appreciated it as a parent and educator, but I recognize how essential it must be for the targeted readers to have this knowledge.

One of the major take-aways from the book is actually an obvious, simple point. Abused and neglected children need full attention eye contact each and every day from a caregiver. This is one of those truths that is easy to agree with intellectually, but I have to humbly reflect on my own practice. (In fact, just this very moment my daughters entered the room playfully, loudly talking, playing music, and seeking my attention. My initial reaction was to say, "Turn that down, please." I immediately turned my concentration back to this blog entry, barely acknowledging them. After all, I had to get on with this post about giving children attention with your eyes!)

The funny thing is that it works. Eye contact really communicates something that maybe no other method can. It is hard to put into words. My youngest daughter, when being obstinate, will comply and be more accepting of redirection much more often when I say, "Look at the brown in my eyes" or "I need to see your eyes" instead of just "Look at me." (A tip from the book.) It hasn't been a 100% guarantee, but a big improvement.

What I have also noticed is just how much full attention eye contact really bothers some of my students. They are very uncomfortable with it. To be honest, I can't even say that I am all that comfortable with it sometimes. The deep, psychological reasons for that will probably never be revealed in this blog, not because I want to hide them, but I have to first figure them out myself.

Eye contact was only one great reminder in this book. Other practical strategies included keeping a behavior log or observation journal for a couple weeks, preparing children for changes (especially with special needs), using the "sandwich" approach of wrapping any negative inside two positives, and using "stock phrases" or "scripts."

Scripts or stock phrases are those one-line principle statements. They can be used over and over again to drive home foundational elements of how family relationships are going to work in the household. Some examples are:

• "Use your words." or "Give me a whole sentence."
• "Adults are in charge."
• "With permission and supervision."
• "No hurts."
• "Focus and complete your task." (after clarifying that they understand the task)

I think this book is a great resource for any parent, but I would imagine it is a must read for parents with foster, adoptive, special needs, or cross-cultural children.

I am saving the best take-away from the book for its own post.

Shaping a Culture in Education

"There are many initiatives, policies, and programs that come and go in education, and to be honest, I have found most of them to be thoroughly uninspiring." This is the sentiment I conveyed to a crowd of parents (mostly dads) and students at a school event last year, and I still stand by it. The objective of adding a program or tweaking a policy is just too shallow for what is needed in schools. My purpose is to shape a culture.

For example, my vision for bringing WatchD.O.G.S. to my campus was not to add another program or give us another feather to stick in our hat. No, I wanted to observe a day when dads talk to one another differently at our school football games, and when people associated with our school see each other in the marketplace and have conversations they never had before. Thankfully, that is what happened. When stakeholders have conversations about volunteering, engagement, and campus culture in a way that no one talked before, then it is a sign that something is changing, of a "culture shift."

As a program, I will admit that we have not maintained WatchD.O.G.S. as well as we could have. However, the effects on our school culture are still evident. Some fathers are more engaged (both at our campus and with their high schoolers that have moved on). Our PTA President is a man, which bucks a stereotype at the middle school level. The site-based team has more parental involvement, including men. (Now, if we could just get the PTA at my daughter's school to stop "bedazzling" all their school shirts with sequins, jewels, and all that other stuff!) 

Important questions remain. Currently, our campus leadership is left pondering how much we really value parental engagement. Is it something we really want, or just something we say we want? Even that single question represents a culture-shift because administrators and teachers are left wrestling with what is best for students in ways they weren't before.

So am I. I love that our mantra in Leander ISD is "continuous improvement" because it is exactly what I need in my personal and professional life. As an educator, I want to find creative ways to engage the community in our children's education. As a dad, I want the same thing!

I am working to be more open to "out of the box" ideas in this area. WatchD.O.G.S. was a good step for me, and I am excited to see what this challenge evolves into next.

In the Beginning...God Created

Last Sunday, our simple church group met at our house. The person facilitating our discussion and study was my 9 year-old daughter. She created a PowerPoint about creation. She asked us to read Scripture, showed pictures that she felt were good images to correspond with Genesis, and asked what questions we had. Her presentation led into much further conversation.

Sometimes, we mistakenly think that things in the church need to be so complicated that children can't understand them for them to be right. I think it must make us feel more "spiritual" or something. (I confess that we had that moment on Sunday as the adults immediately got into a discussion about creation versus evolution, as adults usually do. It wasn't until I realized that my daughter had left the room that it dawned on me that we had gotten off track. She wanted to remember and celebrate the awesomeness of God, but we wanted to debate "academic matters." More on that in another post??)

The truth found in Scripture, though, paints a vividly different picture. It is the children that hold the wisdom of God. It is the children who give praise to the Father even from infancy. On occasion, we are blessed when we simply let children lead the way to our Savior. After all, His kingdom belongs to them.

Developmentally, there are age-appropriate considerations to factor in when serving aside children in God's church. Spiritually, they might be light years ahead of us, but humanly speaking, they do have limitations in understanding and ability to communicate. However, even while taking this fact into account, it is still worth asking what the children can do to impact the world now. I have a hard time believing Jesus would have ever used the phrase, "church of tomorrow."

Keep in mind that the measure for us in the simple church is reproducibility. We know something is simple if it is easily reproducible. It is an essential part of spreading the gospel. A way to determine if a practice is reproducible is by asking, "Who else could do this?" If our answer leaves out children every time, then we might need to re-think our theology and mission. It could be a sign that we have missed it on both counts. If our kingdom only delegates the "cute" or "juvenile" things to young people, then maybe it is a substitute kingdom made by our intellect rather than God's power.

I Can't Believe I Just Said That to My Kid

Have you ever had that moment as a parent where something comes out of your mouth that you swore you would never say to your own children? You know, those things you heard from your own parents or teachers growing up, and thought to yourself, That's stupid. Why would any adult even say that?!

Mine is, "Because I said so." I committed to never say that to my own daughters because I always thought it was a cop out for a grown-up who didn't have a real reason to back up a nonsensical request. But now, sure enough, there I am in the middle of an exchange with one of my kids, and suddenly those dreaded words sneak past my lips and into that public domain where they can never be retrieved. I feel like I hear them after they come out of my mouth before I think to say them in the first place. I know that's impossible, but it is this denial that I live in until I discover another deep-rooted psychological explanation to answer why I would do that. In fact, after I catch myself exclaiming that rather immature comment that should be relegated to the same category as "I'm rubber, you're glue..." or "I know you are, but what am I?", I am momentarily paralyzed as I fear revocation of my parenting license. Not even so much because of the fear, but the awareness that I would deserve such a fate, my world moves in slow motion for a few seconds.

Then, suddenly, I regain my wits just in time to hear my daughter question again, "But, dad, why?" To which, I instantaneously search my brain for a reason - not even a good or fair one - anything that hints at rationality. When I come up empty a second time, the despicable phrase slides off my tongue again, this time with more volume and authority behind it. "Because I SAID SO!" After all, this time, I mean it!

Do you have a saying that your parent(s) used to say to you that you now catch yourself saying to your own children? Share it as a comment.

If you need some ideas, then watch this.